12 September 2014

dear birthmother

Dear Birthmother:

I remember a year ago when Garrett and I were first starting the process of adoption, we were asked to draft a letter to perspective birth mothers and I had no idea what to say. I would start and then stop. Phrases that seemed silly would appear on the page and then be deleted.

Thank you for this ultimate gift. 

We will be super parents for your child. 

We understand what you're going through and want you to know that we are praying for you.

And I just realize now that I had no idea what I was talking about. The miracle of adoption is really hard to wrap your mind around. In order to make the dreams of one woman come true, another woman has to sacrifice something that will always always leave a mark on her. But it happens. Miracles happen.

As we come up on the one year anniversary of our wait to adopt a child, I've been very reflective. Sometimes I want to toss out the entire profile book that we created and rewrite everything that we wrote before so that I can do it better. Maybe our baby will come to us sooner. But then another voice inside of me tells me to be patient, that even though we may not say exactly the right thing and show exactly the right pictures our birthmother will see us and know that we are genuine and good. I worry that I can't understand  exactly what our birthmother is going through and that I'll say something stupid and wrong. I want to be a mom so bad. I want to create a family with my husband. Do I have the capacity to understand how you, the birthmother of our adopted child, is feeling?

So, I'm waiting today and praying today. I don't know if I did everything right. I have to believe that there is a woman out there who will discover my husband and my story and feel moved to reach out to us. Trust us.

We are waiting, ready to cherish the gift that is offered. This wait is not easy, but we know that it's worth it.

Praying for everyone one who is struggling today - to build a family, to do what's best for their family and to make their way in this beautiful and hard world. 



  1. My thoughts are with you, hoping that good news comes your way soon. I am sure you will make a lovely family and home for any children that are lucky enough to call you and your husband his/her parents.

  2. I pray every day that I will soon see you with a chid of your own to cherish. Stay strong.

  3. Oh Jillian, if only a potential birth mother would read your blog. She would choose you lickety split.


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